Breastfeeding is an addiction

Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. (Dictionary.com)

Now I understand why breastfeeding mummies are so proud about it and why they feel sad when it's time to stop. It's an addiction. An addiction to the bond that you have with your child. That special feeling that you get when the baby is at it (though I'm feeling pain most of the time). 

Well, I have been direct latching Rachael whenever I can. It really saves a lot of time and effort. She takes around 40min to 1 hour to be done and bond is established. If I pumped out to give her instead, pumping takes 30min at least. Putting it into the bottle and warming it takes about 7min ( which she usually cries crazily loud while waiting). Feeding her takes 10min and washing everything takes another 10 to 15min. 

So after much calculation, the lazy me choose to direct latch instead. 

 

The only thing that stops me from direct latching is PAIN. Imagine someone biting you at the most sensitive area and you have to bite the bullet and bear with it for as long as it takes. But the wonderful thing is you get to see a smile at the end of it all to indicate that she's done (although I wonder if it's her reflex or she really feels happy at the end of it). 

I think I'm addicted too. I tried to rest one day from latching because of peeling skin and pain. During this period, I miss her latching on. Or maybe I'm just plain lazy. 

Whatever it is, I just pray that God will heal the injured areas as soon as possible and prevent them from peeling again. I pray that Rachael will learn to be a better sucker instead of a biter. I pray that she will stop causing harm to her milk source. I pray that she will be more efficient in drinking so that her milk source won't be sore from being suck for too long. 

I pray.